Monday, December 29, 2014

Broken Chord

I saw you there, there amongst the crowd.
I was surprised to see you but then again...
I always knew that you would eventually come
to see the King!

It was over 5 years ago, when my phone rang and I saw Paul's name pop up.
I just stared at my phone for a few seconds, halfway shocked that he was calling me.  I wasn't sure if I should answer it or not but something within me, told me to pick it up...

Me:  Hello

Paul:  Hey, Farfalla it's me Paul.  I didn't think you'd pick up.

Me:  Why are you calling me?  I responded with a harsh voice.

Paul:  I wanted... listen... I just wanted to ask you if you'd talk to him for me.

Me:  You're asking me to speak to him, on YOUR behalf???  Don't try to befriend me when your intentions are to hurt him, Paul.  You know where I stand and where I have always stood.  I have been loyal to him and I will NOT waiver, not now... not EVER!

Paul:  Lisa, calm down!  Look... I know how you feel about him.

Me:  Then why would you even consider it, Paul?

Paul:  Because you have his ear... you also see deeper than most... just tell me this... do you ever see any future for us?

Silence...

It was at that point that I saw a flash/vision, or whatever you want to call it? I call them 'Video Clips from Heaven,' because it's like a 30 second flash and then it's gone.

What I saw shocked me.

I saw Paul standing in front of me with two broken arms and one broken leg.  I know there are symbolic meanings to the things that I see but at that very moment, I had no clue what it meant?

Paul:  Farfalla are you still there?

I said the first thing that popped into my mind...

Me:  Paul, there are a lot of things that are broken that need to heal and some bones heal quicker than others.  I will continue to pray for all of you.


"A time to break down and a time to build up." ~King Solomon


A few months had passed when Paul contacted me again.  I didn't pick up this time, x was leaving the following day and I had a lot going on.  Paul was the last person I needed to talk to.  Although he did leave a message on my voice mail, so I decided to listen to it.

He said it was VERY important that he talks to me.  He even had the nerve to ask me if I would meet him in person?  Whatever?!  I just deleted the message.

But later that day as I was packing x's things, I kept thinking about Paul. Ugh!

I finally looked up at the ceiling and said to God, "Ok, ok, if you want me to go meet with him, then I will go."

A few days later I called Paul back and agreed to meet with him.


"A time to weep and a time to laugh." ~King Solomon


I had arrived early that afternoon, at the little cafe by the beach.  I wanted to pray before Paul got there.

I felt uneasy and was sick to my stomach.  A million thoughts were going through my mind and my emotions were all over the place.  I would never do anything to hurt x and I felt like I was betraying him by being there.  I started praying and I asked God, "Why are you having me do this?  I need to get out of here."

Just as I was thinking about leaving, I saw Paul walking up but he wasn't alone... Mitch was with him.

Oh boy, here we go, I thought?!

We sat down and ordered drinks and a few appetizers.  I just listened, as Mitch did most of the talking.  He is very smart and was very detailed in his approach.

Me:  Who am I, that you would ask of me, what you are asking?

Mitch:  You hold the key Farfalla... we've tried for years to work it out with him and several people in the industry have tried to talk to him, too.

As they continued to speak, I noticed a desperation in their voices.  They seemed to have it all worked out and proceeded to explain to me, how great it would be.  But I discerned that it was all self-motivated.

Me:  I apologize, but neither one of you honor or value him for WHO he is. You've treated him as common, when God has called him blessed.  I'm not saying that he is better than either one of you, I'm just saying that you guys STILL don't get it!

It was at that point that they started to plead with me and I began to feel really uncomfortable.  But when they offered me money, it sparked this RAGE inside of me that I can't quite explain.

Me:  How dare you insult my integrity.  I would never take a penny from either one of you, nor from anyone else for that matter.  You can't put a price tag on his anointing.  Don't you ever contact me again!

I got up, threw money down on the table and walked away!

They were yelling for me to come back and Paul screamed...

Yeah, that's what we thought... you haven't changed 'Tahnee,' referring to my stage name when I was a stripper.

I ran to my car completely shaken, as tears rolled down my face.


"A time to mourn and a time to dance." ~King Solomon


A year or so later...

I was at Barnes and Noble doing some last minute Christmas shopping.  I grabbed a book and headed to the third floor to get some coffee and enjoy the lights.  As I approached the balcony, I noticed Paul sitting there having coffee and eating pringles.  I tried to avoid him but it was too late, he saw me...

Paul:  Hey Farfalla, how are you?  Will you sit down for a minute, please?

Feeling a bit uneasy, I reluctantly sat down.

As I sat down I noticed something in his eyes that seemed different? Or maybe it was just the first time, that I had ever seen him with his hair pulled back away from his face?!

I listened to him as he began to share the heartache that he was going through.  I couldn't hold back the tears, as I listened to him.  I could see the humbleness in his eyes and I could hear it in his voice.  I told him that I was sorry for his loss.

He reached across the table to touch my hand.

My mind was saying, "Don't touch me" but my heart was saying, "Pray for him."

It was then and there that I felt like this was the biggest test of my FAITH, ever!

The man that caused so much pain, the one who hurt the one that I love and the one that I considered to be the enemy for so long, was asking me to pray for him?

My heart was pounding hard and fast.

I just grabbed ahold of his hand and began to pray... Tears started flowing, years of heartache and pain, words unspoken, touching our hearts, bonding us together in forgiveness and peace, through LOVE, in Jesus name.

He was squeezing my hand so tight and we were both crying.  By the time I was done praying my arm was completely numb.  As I opened my eyes, all I could see was a blurred vision of our arms laying upon the table.


"a threefold cord is not quickly broken." ~King Solomon


That is when I realized...

He and I, were the two broken arms that I had seen in my vision a few years earlier.  I was completely speechless.

Paul:  Farfalla, do you remember shortly after we met, I had a dream of all of us being in paradise.  You were standing at the shore and were begging all of us to get in the water, but none of us would get in.  I asked you what the dream meant.  Do you remember what you told me?

Me:  That was over two decades ago... what did I say?

Paul:  You told me that the "water" represented healing and refreshing, like a new beginning.  I'll never forget that.  It didn't make sense back then because we were all friends and we were all together.  But it makes perfect sense, now.  I finally get it.  I finally understand what you've been saying, all of these years. 

I was totally crying as he continued...

I never meant to hurt him, we were young and... I just want the opportunity to tell him in person that I'm sorry.

Me:  Paul, if you feel led to go, then go.  You may be surprised at the outcome?

Paul:  I can't.  You know every time I've tried to approach him, those people have stopped me.

Me:  Paul, Listen to me... "those" people can try but they CANNOT stop the will of God.

He squeezed me tight as we headed out the door.

Paul:  You know what, girl?  You've always had the power to turn the heart of the king.

Me:  Well, it's not me but the power of the Holy Spirit, inside of me.

Paul:  Maybe?  Hey, do you remember our three way "together forever" handshake we used to do?

Me:  Hahaha!  How could I forget?  Remember that none of us would ever say the word "goodbye".

Paul:  Oh yeah... c-ya later.

We both laughed, hugged each other and then went our separate ways.


"a time to love and a time to hate." ~King Solomon


Shortly after I got home x called me.  He began to tell me about the Spiritual experience he had just experienced, onstage that night...

my leg was bothering me and i couldn't run around as much, so i skipped the next song and went straight over to the piano.  as soon as i sat down and started to play, it began to rain and all of the sudden i had this out of body experience.  it took me way back to when we were first starting out.  it was so pure and surreal...

I listened intently, as chills went up and down my spine.

i can't explain it?  but i feel refreshed and restored.  how long have you been a part of this?

A part of what?

i saw you there... the past, the present and the future.  i've searched for loyalty my whole life and you've always been there.

And at that very moment, I felt as if I was standing upon the shore and they were all walking towards the water.

to everything there is a season and time for every purpose under heaven, right?

Yes... for He has made everything beautiful in its time.

well hold on beautiful, it's almost time.


"A time for war and a time for peace." ~King Solomon



Bon Jovi ~ Never Say Goodbye


"never say goodbye
never say goodbye
you and me and my old friends
hopin' it would never end"