Wednesday, November 27, 2013

With all the trimmings

"in the middle of the night, your words inspire me"... x

It was about a month ago when I was awoken by my phone ringing at 5:00am.  Startled and half asleep, I answered it.

hey, are you awake?
No, well, yes... is everything alright?
can't sleep, insomnia is killin' me and these panic attacks.
Let me pray for you.
yeah sure, but I need you to come here.
Umm... OK
i just emailed you the itinerary.
Are you sure, you're alright?
yeah, i just... i just need you here, for a few days.

The following day I hopped on a plane.  I stared out the window most of the flight and prayed...

"Lord, please protect him and keep him safe.  Thank you for allowing me to be able to visit him.  Dear Lord, You told me to serve him, so show me how I may serve him best, while I'm there."

I arrived that afternoon.  It was my first time at his new place, since he had moved.  As I walked in, I was in awe of the beautiful view and all of the windows.  I walked around and admired the open space.  It was gorgeous.

I walked down the hall towards the bedrooms and went into his room. Suddenly, I felt the atmosphere shift and it felt a bit stuffy in there.  I glanced around and noticed boxes of things that hadn't been put away yet and there was stuff everywhere.  I then walked out and entered his home studio and I felt the same thing, something was amiss?

That's when I heard him scream my name, so I walked towards the sound of his voice and entered the living room.  I saw him on the floor curled up in the fetal position.  I ran over to him to see if he was alright and he said he'd been trying to sleep for days and his stomach was killing him.  I told him that I would make him some soup (to settle his stomach), and I grabbed all the Alka-Seltzer that was next to him.  "You can't drink this stuff like water, it isn't good for you." I said.

I headed towards the kitchen and started making some soup.  After he ate the soup, we chatted for a bit but I could tell that he didn't feel well.  I told him to lay down on the couch.  I then laid my right hand on his rib cage and I prayed over him.  Soon after he fell asleep.

It was quiet and no one else was there, so I went into the kitchen and grabbed some olive oil.  I walked around his place and anointed all the windows and doors and prayed in every room of his house.

A few hours had passed, when his assistant arrived.  I went to greet her and I made us some coffee.  We talked and laughed as we shared stories about the kids and the animals.  I then offered to help her clean out his bedroom and studio.  I told her that I didn't mind doing it and I knew she had more important things to take care of.  She agreed and said I could go ahead and clean out the two rooms.

I wanted to declutter his bedroom and studio because those are the two most CREATIVE rooms in his house.  His MUSIC and DREAMS are created there.

It took me hours but I washed, organized and straightened up everything. He slept the entire time and I was happy that he got the rest he needed.  It also gave me the opportunity to get everything done.

The next day he said he felt great.  It was pouring rain outside, so we decided to stay in all day.  I made his favorite pasta dish and chocolate chip cookies. We spent the entire day talking, eating, laughing and watching movies.

From my hands, to your feet, to the cage that protects your lungs and heart.

Later that evening we were having a deep conversation about music.  He was complaining about how the music nowadays is so saturated and it lacked passion and soul.  In the middle of our conversation, I heard a loud voice say, "Honor My prophet... wash his feet."

I jumped out of my skin at the sound of His voice.  I was completely shaken and caught off guard.  I had only heard the voice of God (audibly), twice in my ENTIRE life.

I can't explain it but it's like someone is speaking through a megaphone, inside the pit of your stomach.  And the sound is coming out of you, instead of going inside of you.

"are you okay?" he asked.  As I got up (halfway in a daze), and went into the kitchen.  I filled up a bowl with warm water, olive oil and rose petals.  I brought it back into the living room, knelt down on my knees and put a towel over my lap.  I then took off his slippers and placed his feet into the water.

He just looked at me.  He didn't have to say anything... his eyes said EVERYTHING.

I began to wash his feet, as he laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Led Zeppelin ~ Thank You
"Thanks to you it will be done,
for you to me are the only one" ~Led Zeppelin

Soon after his assistant walked in (with her friend), to let him know that she was leaving to go shopping and out to dinner.  He looked back to acknowledge her as she looked over at me, rolled her eyes and shook her head in disgust. And then she turned around and walked out.

I could instantly tell that he was pissed off.  But before he could say a word, I said, "Let not your heart be troubled, for they do not understand the significance of me washing your feet."  He let out a big sigh and then put his head back again and closed his eyes.  I finished washing and massaging his feet and then I removed them from the water and began to dry them.

"Let's sing some old Sunday school songs," I said.
He began to laugh and said, "what? why?"
It will be fun, besides it's good for our soul.
He jokingly starts singing...
"Jesus loves me this i know, for the bible tells me so."
I'm serious, come on.

He got up and headed over to the piano and sat down.  I followed him, as he began to play.  We started singing, 'Jesus loves me', 'This little light of mine', 'How great thou art' and some old hymns.  It was so beautiful.

He then stopped playing and said, "when i can't sleep in the middle of the night, your words inspire me.  but why haven't you written any blogs, lately?"

"I don't know?  I don't know what to say?  I'm tired of being put down and made fun of, I guess?

why, because they say you're a dreamer?  we're both dreamers so take it as a compliment.  and don't think that i don't notice the ones that are mean to you, because i do.  but I choose to pay more attention to the ones that are nice to you."

Yes, I know that you do.  I don't care if they call me a dreamer but why do they have to put me down and say that I'm old or that I have a horse face, etc.?"

"listen to me... you've always preached to me about not listening to my critics and not allowing them to stop me.  you need to do the same.

"You're right, it's just hurtful."

oh baby, don't let them hurt you.  look at me... i've never looked into the eyes of a horse and been able to decipher its age, nor deny its beauty."

"The humble in spirit will retain honor." ~King Solomon

My eyes began to well up with tears as he started playing and singing 'Hallelujah.'  This made me cry even more.  His version of the song is so powerful and chilling.  It is the BEST version I have ever heard and experiencing it IS a whole different story.  I pray that someday, the world will be able to hear and experience his version.

Once he finished 'Hallelujah,' he started playing a familiar song, that he's been working on for quite some time.  But this was the first time, I had ever heard any of the lyrics.  I could feel the Spirit of God in the room, as he sang and it literally brought me to my knees.

When he finished singing, I looked up at him and in a tearful voice I said, "When did you write the lyrics?"  "just now, they just came out so i just went with it... what do you think?" he replied.

"It's absolutely AMAZING!  It IS more than just a song... it's your Psalm."

He smiled and said, "well, perhaps i should write it down then before i forget?"  I stood up and ran to grab a notepad and pen, so he could write it down.

The following day, I started packing.  It always seems to get really awkward between us, when I'm about to leave?  He gets really quiet and stays busy. So, I tried to lighten up the mood a bit and yelled, "A Psalm a day for you and a Proverb a day for me... deal?"  "deal." he yelled back.

I went into the kitchen and hugged and thanked his assistant for her time and for taking care of him.  I then went back and continued packing as I overheard him scream, "whoa, come check out the sky."  I walked out of the bedroom and walked over to the window.

The entire sky looked like a rainbow.  It was breathtaking.  I placed my hand on the glass window and silently whispered, "Thank you, Jesus."

He came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "thank you for coming here."  I turned around and said, "Thank you, for inviting me."  "oh and by the way, thanks for throwing out all of my stuff," he said, jokingly.  "I didn't throw anything out, I was just making room for your blessings." hehe

He laughed and mentioned something about Halloween.  And I said, "Well, this place can have you for Halloween and Thanksgiving, as long as you're HOME for Christmas and New Years."  "you really don't like that i'm here, do you?"

Well, I'll be honest, I hate that you moved here but I respect and honor your decisions.  I understand why you need to be here, for a season.  And I'm not questioning you or God... well maybe I am, just a little?!" hehe

He laughed and squeezed me tight.

"The circumstances may change but the love remains." I said.

"Until the end of time." he replied.

"something magical always takes place when you're around"... x

As I was on the plane heading back home, I began to think about how often times we will feed our mind and body, but we neglect to feed our soul.  I believe, the best way to feed our soul IS through music.  By humbling ourselves before the King and worshipping and praising Him.

Today, many people seem to have a sense of entitlement and pride.  They won't humble themselves towards one another, nor will they humble themselves before God.  We forget to be thankful for what we have and what we've been given.  Whether it be our gifts and talents, our jobs, or our loved ones.

You SEE, often times we tend to become familiar with each other and we start to feel contempt towards one another.  We no longer HONOR the ones that we are close to and we stop treating them as the TREASURE they are.

Think about it for a moment.  How did you treat your significant other when you first started dating them?  How did you treat your boss, when he/she first hired you?

Jesus gave us an example of what true humbleness and love looks like.  He took the lowliest position as a servant (at the last supper), and washed His disciples feet.

Peter was uncomfortable with Jesus washing his feet but Jesus said, "If I do not wash you, then you have no part with Me."  Peter then responded by saying, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and head."

Jesus was teaching us that a master isn't better than a servant and vise versa. He was also showing all of us, the importance of humility in love.

So, let me ask you...

Whom are you willing to be a part of?

Bon Jovi ~ Hallelujah

"Remember when I moved in you,
and the Holy dove was moving too,
and every breath we drew was,

Thursday, July 18, 2013

silvery shoals of fish

A poem by:  S. Bartek

today we've gone underwater
wearing masks for a masquerade
to look for the colors that sank
in the rays of light - a brainwave
three dimensions of surprise
three breaths
under the water i don't exist
no wind
i go there sometimes when
i don't want to think
wonder when
or will you
tell me
the speech centers remain silent
the speech centers just catch
and the world is underwater
the silvery shoals
the silvery shoals
with my hands i cast an anchor
this will be
my land
here i melt
in all directions
sometimes you are the waves
sometimes you are the shoals
you are
you are the waves
you break against the seabed
the pirates go ashore with their loot
and we go up - upright
every step
is so deep-seated
i haul us ashore
i pick the treasure from the sea bottom
sand, sand and the letter
with yet more words
the silence of the fish
we have no lips to speak with
under the water i don't exist
no wind
a natural muffle
the shades of ships
the colors of masquerade
the reef and the raft
on which we come back ashore
and along with us
- the gravity

"He's a blue shadow of you
a diamond lost at sea
a heart so pure and true
trying to find his way
back to you."
~Lisa Marie Farfalla

Guns N' Roses ~ Estranged

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Letters in the Sand

"I have come that they may have life,
and that they have it more abundantly" ~Jesus

To protect the privacy of others, names have been changed.

I was standing on the beach looking up at the sky, when I saw a horse and chariot going around in a circle.  An Angel was leading the horses and he was holding a balloon in his hand.  He released the balloon and instead of it going up, the balloon started coming down, towards me.  When it got close enough, I grabbed ahold of the string and pulled it down.

I noticed, that it had a shark on it and it said, "Happy Birthday" along with a three digit number.  I turned around and took it over to the beach chair (that Danny was sitting on), and I tied it to the chair.  I then walked over to a table, to cut him a piece of cake.  I walked back over to him and handed him the cake, and said, "Happy Birthday."

I was wearing a necklace, that had a bottle with sand in it.  I noticed there were light blue crystals that were sparkling, inside.  I opened up the bottle and smelled it.  The scent was so fresh and clean.  I took the necklace off and placed it around Danny's neck and said, "Look, God purified the sand... smell the beautiful scent."  He smelled it and then started telling a joke about cocaine.  We both started laughing.  Then he looked up at me, as he drew a line in the sand.

I awoke from this dream at 5:00am and it was pouring rain outside.  I started to pray for Danny.  I knew, that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so I got up and made some coffee.  I sat down at my kitchen table and started writing the dream down, in my Dream Journal.

This had been the fifth dream, that I had of him, in the past few weeks.  I knew God was trying to get my attention, but I sensed in my Spirit, that I was missing the message?  I began to look at the dream again and try to piece it together.

I knew that the Chariot represented some sort of battle, but there was an Angel steering it, so that was a good thing.  The chariot was going around in a circle, which a circle represents eternity.  A shark represents a hidden danger and a balloon is something that pops.  But, it also said "Happy Birthday" on the balloon along with the three digit number.  I knew the symbolic meaning of the numbers, which was a good sign, also.  A cake always represents a celebration and a birthday represents life.  Me removing the necklace and placing it around his neck, represented me removing something (maybe pride or fear), and speaking into his heart.  The sand represents seed and to purify something means to cleanse it, of all guilt and shame.  Some of the sand was light blue and that color represents the Holy Spirit.  I wasn't really sure about Danny drawing a line in the sand, but it was after he had been telling me, the joke about the cocaine?

Later that afternoon, I got online and looked up Danny's website.  There had been no activity on it for weeks.  I continued to pray for him and I asked God for more revelation.  After I was done praying, I felt like God wanted me to reach out to him and help him?  I said, "What?  I don't know him... how am I supposed to help him?  What if he thinks I'm crazy or thinks I'm a stalker?" 

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy" ~Jesus

That same night, I had another dream about Danny.  Although, this dream was much different?  It was dark, it was eerie, and it was downright scary.

I was in Danny's house and he was sitting on his bed.  I walked up behind him and I noticed, that he had a rope in his hand.  I looked at his bed and saw ropes and belts, that were all in the shape of a noose.  I said,  "What are you doing?"  "I'm going to kill myself," he replied.  "What?", I said... as I began to plead with him and tried to encourage him.  He stood up and started cussing and breaking things, in his room.  I just stood there and silently prayed, until he finally calmed down.  He then walked over to me (lifted his hand to his head, in the shape of a gun), got in my face and said, "Are you gonna stop me?"

I awoke from this dream and I was shaken.  I began to pray for Danny and it was at that point, that I knew that I needed to make a decision.  I could either BELIEVE what God was showing me and try to contact him, or I could allow my foolish pride to take over (and possibly regret it), and do nothing?

I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and help me, write the email to Danny. I kept the email light and positive.  I told him about the "Birthday" dream I had (I didn't mention the other dreams), and I told him, that I was praying for him.  I wasn't sure, if he would ever receive the message, nor did I expect a response.  But I felt like, I had to do something?  I asked God to please let me know, that he was alright.  Even if he just updated his status or posted something on his website.

At that time, I was a personal assistant for a Prophet, and later that afternoon we were in a meeting.  After our meeting, I asked him if he would pray for Danny.  He didn't know who Danny was, nor did I share my dreams with him.

As he was praying, he abruptly stopped and said, "I just saw a vision of the grim reaper standing over him... death is knocking on his door."  He immediately began to pray and bind the devil, in the name of Jesus.  He asked that God would loose him, from whatever bondage was holding him and that he wouldn't believe the lies of the enemy, etc.  I knew at that moment, that God was confirming to me, what I had seen in my dream.

As I returned home, I checked my messages and there wasn't anything from Danny.  I then went to his website and noticed that he had just updated his status, an hour earlier.  I felt a sense of relief come over me and I thanked God, that he was alright.

"For they shall partake of the abundance of the seas
and of the treasure hidden in the sand."

The following morning, I logged onto my computer and there was a message from Danny.  He told me, that he didn't believe in God, but thanked me for the message, nonetheless.  He also had a question for me.  He wanted to know, if I knew what the significance of the three digit number (that was on the balloon in my dream), meant?  This opened up a dialogue between us. ;)

I shared the Biblical significance of the number with him and then he responded, by saying, "Call me," and he left his phone number.  I prayed real quick and then I picked up the phone and called him.  He told me, that this number was his "lucky" number.  That he had seen it for years (including in his dreams), and that he had used the number often, for personal stuff such as passwords, etc.

He also told me, that he had recently went to see a Psychic, to ask what the number represented.  Not only did she link the number to something that happened in his past, but she completely changed the number and told him it was actually a DIFFERENT number, altogether?  I knew this was false, because God revealed the ORIGINAL number to me, in my dream.  We ended up talking for over three hours on the phone.  As, we were hanging up, he said, "This is crazy, I've never opened up to someone this easily... I feel like I've known you forever."

After our conversation on the phone, I thought to myself, that Danny didn't seem depressed at all?  He was very funny and seemed happy?  The next few days, he emailed me periodically and would text me on occasion.  I prayed and asked The Holy Spirit to speak through me, because God knows his heart and knew what he needed to hear.

A few weeks had passed (that we had been talking), when I received a text message from Danny, that read, "I want to meet you... along with the three digit number."  I sent him a text back.  I told him, that I would be in Beverly Hills the following morning, for a life coaching session with the Prophet.  I asked him, if he wanted to meet both of us for lunch?  To my surprise he said, yes.

I went to the store that day and bought him a Bible and an uplifting CD.  Two of the most POWERFUL gifts, you can ever give someone (the word of God and music), to heal their SOUL.

"He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone." ~Jesus

The following day, the three of us met for lunch.  It was a beautiful sunny day out.  Danny shared his experiences, of what is was like to be a famous Rock Star and he told us a lot of funny stories.  We sat outside of this cafe and talked and laughed, for hours.

After we were done eating, the conversation became more serious.  Danny explained, that he was going through a divorce, that his relationship with his kids was strained, that he moved to LA, and his family lived in another state. He told us that he was clean and sober but he blamed his past addictions (of drugs and alcohol), on his fame.  He was at a point where he wanted to give up on music, altogether.  He felt the lifestyle had cost him everything.  He was struggling with some other personal issues, too, that left him feeling guilty. And he was mad at God, because of all of his loss and pain. 

The Prophet spoke LIFE into him and encouraged him. He told him, that God had a PURPOSE for his life and that his musical talent, is a gift from God. He told him, that Jesus came to GIVE to him and not to take from him.  And he told him not to get stuck in his past failures or beat himself up, over the mistakes he's made.  Danny was listening and asking a lot of questions.  It was an AMAZING lunch, and I was so thankful.

As we were getting ready to leave the Prophet said, "You know, Lisa Marie really cares about you.  She loves you... just like Jesus does."

And I will never forget his response... "I know she does... it's all new to me... I've never had anyone care for me, without wanting something from me."  He then put his head down and continued, "To be quite honest... if she hadn't contacted me, when she did... I wouldn't be here, to celebrate my Birthday next week... I was ready to check out."

There was complete silence for a moment and all three of us, had tears in our eyes.  Danny reached over, held my hand and kissed me on the cheek. The Prophet asked him, if he could pray for him and Danny said, yes.

Throughout the following years, Danny and I talked often.  I would text him scriptures and encourage him through the hard times.  He would also call me and ask me to pray for him, before he went on stage, or sometimes just to vent his frustration and anger.  hehe

Today, he is ALIVE and happy.  He is engaged to a beautiful woman and his relationship with his kids, is stronger than ever.  He is also, still using his gift of music, that God has blessed him with.

I am truly honored, that I was given the opportunity, to get to know Danny's BEAUTIFUL heart.  I will always remember, how God used a DREAM to bring our friendship together.

"I am the resurrection and the life." ~Jesus

Now, I'm not saying that all dreams are from God, because obviously they're not. But I have been able to discern which ones are.  One way is through the revelation of His word, the other is through the vibrant colors and oversized scenery, kind of like you've just entered "Alice in Wonderland."  haha  And the third way, is through a series of dreams and confirmations.  "By the mouth of two or three witnesses, the matter shall be established."  The latter, was the case with the dreams, that I had of Danny and the confirmations I received, through him and the Prophet.

You SEE, we never really know where someone is at, in their life.  It may seem like they're happy, but they could possibly be on the brink of giving up.  Satan will always try to keep someone stuck in their past and remind them of their failures.  He wants them to feel trapped, so they can't see any way out.  He knows, if they don't have a VISION, they will perish.

Jesus on the other hand, LOVES us!  He came to give us a FUTURE and a HOPE.  He wants to bring healing and restoration to our lives, and cleanse and purify the sand.  Therefore, He will reveal the TREASURE hidden in the sand (i.e., inside of you).

God will also use us to SPEAK into someone's heart, by planting seeds of faith, hope, and LOVE.  Because sometimes the only Jesus, someone may ever be able to see, IS inside of you.  But we need to be willing, to walk out our faith and use our VOICE (whether it be through words, poetry, or music), and bless others with the GIFT, that He has blessed us with.  As a result, we too, will be able to SEE and smell the fresh scent, and CELEBRATE the beauty of life.

FAITH waits, trusts, acts, believes and stands.

Always remember this...   

Jesus IS the way, and the truth, and the LIFE.

Skid Row ~ I remember you

"Paint a picture of the days gone by,
When love went blind and you would make me see,
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes,
So that I knew that you were there for me,
Time after time you were there for me"


Wednesday, February 13, 2013


"And baby you know my hands are dirty...

Like a cold wind
He blew right through my life
and was gone again
As thousands of women
wait in line
Wearing white dresses
with broken hearts
The mystery
The thrill
The captivating smile
That silent still
His eyes
So gentle
yet so painful
His hands
So mighty
yet so weak
His voice
So beautiful 
yet so severe
The love song that never ends
As the teardrops continually fall
and he crawls back again
Listen closely
and you will hear
The arrow
that pierced my heart.

'Tis love at its finest.

...but I wanted to be your Valentine" ~Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi ~ I'll be there for you

"I pray to God
you'll give me one more chance, girl
I'll be there for you
These five words, I swear to you
When you breathe
I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you"