Saturday, January 23, 2016

Poisoned Sleep

"you made the wine now you drink the cup" ~E.L.O.

Who's pulling the strings
you're no longer in control
the head of the household
she somehow stole
I was once oblivious
to what's so painfully obvious
now I see
right through her facade
she no longer
recognizes her place
once standing behind you
now she's in front of you
robbing you blind
planting misleading seeds
using you
for her families gain
crumbling your fortune and fame
a master at manipulation
potions and poisons
of a wicked woman's love

he's a puppet
on a string
a puppet
fulfilling her dreams

Oh, but she's so shallow
if you listen close enough
you can hear her rattle
her lips drip with honey
while blood drips from her hands
an empty grave
as she hands him the cup
and he takes another sip
she'll crush his crown
with her heel
as she steps upon his head
to reach the throne

he's a puppet
on a string
a puppet
fulfilling her dreams

Oh, mommy dearest
a charade
for the whole world to see
on bended knee
they praise her
because she's closest to the throne
but they don't realize
that she's robbed him
of a family of his own
she poisoned his character
for her own selfish gain
she's a harlot for the spotlight
she has no shame

"Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house
shared with a contentious woman." ~King Solomon

Electric Light Orchestra ~ Evil Woman

"but a fool and his money
soon go separate ways
and you found a fool
lyin' in a daze
ha, ha, woman
what you gonna do
you destroyed all the virtues
that the Lord gave you"

Monday, December 29, 2014

Broken Chord

I saw you there, there amongst the crowd.
I was surprised to see you but then again...
I always knew that you would eventually come
to see the King!

It was over 5 years ago, when my phone rang and I saw Paul's name pop up.
I just stared at my phone for a few seconds, halfway shocked that he was calling me.  I wasn't sure if I should answer it or not but something within me, told me to pick it up...

Me:  Hello

Paul:  Hey, Farfalla it's me Paul.  I didn't think you'd pick up.

Me:  Why are you calling me?  I responded with a harsh voice.

Paul:  I wanted... listen... I just wanted to ask you if you'd talk to him for me.

Me:  You're asking me to speak to him, on YOUR behalf???  Don't try to befriend me when your intentions are to hurt him, Paul.  You know where I stand and where I have always stood.  I have been loyal to him and I will NOT waiver, not now... not EVER!

Paul:  Lisa, calm down!  Look... I know how you feel about him.

Me:  Then why would you even consider it, Paul?

Paul:  Because you have his ear... you also see deeper than most... just tell me this... do you ever see any future for us?


It was at that point that I saw a flash/vision, or whatever you want to call it? I call them 'Video Clips from Heaven,' because it's like a 30 second flash and then it's gone.

What I saw shocked me.

I saw Paul standing in front of me with two broken arms and one broken leg.  I know there are symbolic meanings to the things that I see but at that very moment, I had no clue what it meant?

Paul:  Farfalla are you still there?

I said the first thing that popped into my mind...

Me:  Paul, there are a lot of things that are broken that need to heal and some bones heal quicker than others.  I will continue to pray for all of you.

"A time to break down and a time to build up." ~King Solomon

A few months had passed when Paul contacted me again.  I didn't pick up this time, x was leaving the following day and I had a lot going on.  Paul was the last person I needed to talk to.  Although he did leave a message on my voice mail, so I decided to listen to it.

He said it was VERY important that he talks to me.  He even had the nerve to ask me if I would meet him in person?  Whatever?!  I just deleted the message.

But later that day as I was packing x's things, I kept thinking about Paul. Ugh!

I finally looked up at the ceiling and said to God, "Ok, ok, if you want me to go meet with him, then I will go."

A few days later I called Paul back and agreed to meet with him.

"A time to weep and a time to laugh." ~King Solomon

I had arrived early that afternoon, at the little cafe by the beach.  I wanted to pray before Paul got there.

I felt uneasy and was sick to my stomach.  A million thoughts were going through my mind and my emotions were all over the place.  I would never do anything to hurt x and I felt like I was betraying him by being there.  I started praying and I asked God, "Why are you having me do this?  I need to get out of here."

Just as I was thinking about leaving, I saw Paul walking up but he wasn't alone... Mitch was with him.

Oh boy, here we go, I thought?!

We sat down and ordered drinks and a few appetizers.  I just listened, as Mitch did most of the talking.  He is very smart and was very detailed in his approach.

Me:  Who am I, that you would ask of me, what you are asking?

Mitch:  You hold the key Farfalla... we've tried for years to work it out with him and several people in the industry have tried to talk to him, too.

As they continued to speak, I noticed a desperation in their voices.  They seemed to have it all worked out and proceeded to explain to me, how great it would be.  But I discerned that it was all self-motivated.

Me:  I apologize, but neither one of you honor or value him for WHO he is. You've treated him as common, when God has called him blessed.  I'm not saying that he is better than either one of you, I'm just saying that you guys STILL don't get it!

It was at that point that they started to plead with me and I began to feel really uncomfortable.  But when they offered me money, it sparked this RAGE inside of me that I can't quite explain.

Me:  How dare you insult my integrity.  I would never take a penny from either one of you, nor from anyone else for that matter.  You can't put a price tag on his anointing.  Don't you ever contact me again!

I got up, threw money down on the table and walked away!

They were yelling for me to come back and Paul screamed...

Yeah, that's what we thought... you haven't changed 'Tahnee,' referring to my stage name when I was a stripper.

I ran to my car completely shaken, as tears rolled down my face.

"A time to mourn and a time to dance." ~King Solomon

A year or so later...

I was at Barnes and Noble doing some last minute Christmas shopping.  I grabbed a book and headed to the third floor to get some coffee and enjoy the lights.  As I approached the balcony, I noticed Paul sitting there having coffee and eating pringles.  I tried to avoid him but it was too late, he saw me...

Paul:  Hey Farfalla, how are you?  Will you sit down for a minute, please?

Feeling a bit uneasy, I reluctantly sat down.

As I sat down I noticed something in his eyes that seemed different? Or maybe it was just the first time, that I had ever seen him with his hair pulled back away from his face?!

I listened to him as he began to share the heartache that he was going through.  I couldn't hold back the tears, as I listened to him.  I could see the humbleness in his eyes and I could hear it in his voice.  I told him that I was sorry for his loss.

He reached across the table to touch my hand.

My mind was saying, "Don't touch me" but my heart was saying, "Pray for him."

It was then and there that I felt like this was the biggest test of my FAITH, ever!

The man that caused so much pain, the one who hurt the one that I love and the one that I considered to be the enemy for so long, was asking me to pray for him?

My heart was pounding hard and fast.

I just grabbed ahold of his hand and began to pray... Tears started flowing, years of heartache and pain, words unspoken, touching our hearts, bonding us together in forgiveness and peace, through LOVE, in Jesus name.

He was squeezing my hand so tight and we were both crying.  By the time I was done praying my arm was completely numb.  As I opened my eyes, all I could see was a blurred vision of our arms laying upon the table.

"a threefold cord is not quickly broken." ~King Solomon

That is when I realized...

He and I, were the two broken arms that I had seen in my vision a few years earlier.  I was completely speechless.

Paul:  Farfalla, do you remember shortly after we met, I had a dream of all of us being in paradise.  You were standing at the shore and were begging all of us to get in the water, but none of us would get in.  I asked you what the dream meant.  Do you remember what you told me?

Me:  That was over two decades ago... what did I say?

Paul:  You told me that the "water" represented healing and refreshing, like a new beginning.  I'll never forget that.  It didn't make sense back then because we were all friends and we were all together.  But it makes perfect sense, now.  I finally get it.  I finally understand what you've been saying, all of these years. 

I was totally crying as he continued...

I never meant to hurt him, we were young and... I just want the opportunity to tell him in person that I'm sorry.

Me:  Paul, if you feel led to go, then go.  You may be surprised at the outcome?

Paul:  I can't.  You know every time I've tried to approach him, those people have stopped me.

Me:  Paul, Listen to me... "those" people can try but they CANNOT stop the will of God.

He squeezed me tight as we headed out the door.

Paul:  You know what, girl?  You've always had the power to turn the heart of the king.

Me:  Well, it's not me but the power of the Holy Spirit, inside of me.

Paul:  Maybe?  Hey, do you remember our three way "together forever" handshake we used to do?

Me:  Hahaha!  How could I forget?  Remember that none of us would ever say the word "goodbye".

Paul:  Oh yeah... c-ya later.

We both laughed, hugged each other and then went our separate ways.

"a time to love and a time to hate." ~King Solomon

Shortly after I got home x called me.  He began to tell me about the Spiritual experience he had just experienced, onstage that night...

my leg was bothering me and i couldn't run around as much, so i skipped the next song and went straight over to the piano.  as soon as i sat down and started to play, it began to rain and all of the sudden i had this out of body experience.  it took me way back to when we were first starting out.  it was so pure and surreal...

I listened intently, as chills went up and down my spine.

i can't explain it?  but i feel refreshed and restored.  how long have you been a part of this?

A part of what?

i saw you there... the past, the present and the future.  i've searched for loyalty my whole life and you've always been there.

And at that very moment, I felt as if I was standing upon the shore and they were all walking towards the water.

to everything there is a season and time for every purpose under heaven, right?

Yes... for He has made everything beautiful in its time.

well hold on beautiful, it's almost time.

"A time for war and a time for peace." ~King Solomon

Bon Jovi ~ Never Say Goodbye

"never say goodbye
never say goodbye
you and me and my old friends
hopin' it would never end"

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Powder Blue

"a bird touches your soul unlike any other"... x

My sweet Powder Blue
I will forever miss you
you brought paradise into my life
for a brief moment in time
your emerald eyes
sparkled through my soul
and touched a part of me, unknown
clothed in purple wings
like royal robes from heaven
you humbled me
and brought me closer to the throne
I will miss your songs in the morning
your chatter in the evenings
your big personality
and childlike innocence
now silence fills these walls
and my soul is cast down
as my eyes ring the blues
and my heart slowly bleeds
I'm left here to grieve
a loss I can't explain
that destroyed a piece of me
O my precious baby Powder
I am so sorry
I wasn't there
to protect you
suffocating in sadness
I will never hear you say
"I love you"
for now you are in heaven
a messenger in my dreams
revealing His majesty
and comforting me as I sleep
I can't wait to hold you again
I must believe
but until then
I have your little brother
his name is 'Shadow Blue'
in honor of you
a gentle spirit
he loves to praise and worship
the King
I am sure you can hear him sing
making beautiful music
in memory of you

Goodbye, my sweet Powder Blue
I will forever love you.

"in the night His song shall be with me" ~King David

Tesla ~ Paradise

"My sweet paradise
you are the reason why
it tears me up inside
and I break down and cry
didn't wanna say
goodbye paradise"

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Tablets of Life

"Do not be afraid, stand firm and you will see" ~Moses

Born into a secret paradise
hidden from the world's eyes
for three months
until I took you
to a sacred palace
in a foreign land
far away
with no name of your own
and no claim to the throne
and they wonder why
you have no name
and they question why
dates and names were changed
and they whisper
to whom does he belong?
top secret
no identity
confidential agreement
records concealed
silence creeps in
lips are sealed
what shall you say?
honor your father
follow the script
follow the script
don't waiver
from what you were given
for it is the tablets of life
by the ghost in the mirror
by their questions
living a life of obscurity
wanting to run and hide
but called to be seen
draw forth
climb the mountain
there's a burning bush
there's a burning bush
turn aside
and see this great sight
don't pass by your destiny
listen to His voice
take off your sandals
and stand on holy ground
for you are called
a prophet
a leader
with no words to speak
fearing your own abilities
afraid to speak
a deliverer
what's in your hand
what's in your hand
use the gift you were given
it shall do the signs
don't hide your face
for glory is upon it
lift up your eyes
let the feathers fall
allow your guitar to prophesy
the lyrics shall clarify
part your lips and sing
strike the water
and He'll part the sea
cross through
'til you reach the other side
endure the wilderness
and step into the land
the land of milk and honey
do not fear who you are
for your claim to fame
is through His name
"I am who I AM"

"Stretch out your hand toward heaven" ~God

Janita ~ Haunted (starring the young dove)

"Coming from my hidden world
through doors that I've closed
across bridges I've burned"

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Your Lullaby

Baby, what do you see?

Dream baby Dream
as far as your eyes can see
Did you know
that you were born
the son of a King?

Dream baby Dream
kneel before you sleep
Wrap yourself in all His love
and don't forget
to thank the Lord above

Dream baby Dream
lift your voice and sing
Use your talent
to bless the rest
and do your very best

Remember this always
Don't be afraid
to follow his lead
release the songs you're creating
'cause music is everything

Baby, don't be sad...
For you are NOT the forgotten son
You are the beautiful one
The gifted one
For you are the APPOINTED one

O my baby dove
Do you know
you're a precious soul
and how much
I love you so?

So, Dream baby Dream
As far as your eyes can see
Don't ever give up
'cause you are never too big
to Dream baby Dream

Do not fret my son,
for your time shall surely come.

Elton John ~ Your Song

"I know it's not much
but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song
and this one's for you."

Friday, March 14, 2014

Crimson and Clover

A new season, a new reason to believe.

It was February 2010, when I had a series of dreams about him.  They all seemed to have the same theme, which was some sort of celebration.  I will share a brief synopsis of what I saw.

We got out of a vehicle as cameras began flashing and I couldn't see.  I grabbed ahold of his arm and tucked my head into his chest, as we ran inside.  He was being honored at this event, but I wasn't sure what it was for?  As I looked around at the crowd of people and the beautiful decor, I asked him, "Why is everything green?"  And he said, "Because it's almost March 17th... St. Patrick's Day."

A week later, I dreamt that we were on the beach and it looked like we were part of a wedding party.  We were standing at an outside bar and I noticed a woman holding his hand.  She was gorgeous and looked like a model.  She was tall and thin, with long light brown hair that was flowing.  She had delicate eyes and a kind hearted smile.  I looked down and noticed that he didn't have shoes on and there was a song sheet tattooed on his right foot.

A few nights after that, I had another dream and we were at a beautiful reception, there were many pools and hills surrounding this place.  Both of his sons were playing instruments and singing at the reception.  It was glorious day.

I was excited and happy for him.  I knew he was about to enter into a season of celebration, because I was aware of the Biblical symbolic meaning of what I saw.

Green = Prosperity/Provision

Wedding = Celebration/Promise/Covenant
Holding hands = Agreement
No shoes = Holy ground
Right = Power/Authority
Foot = Your Walk/Heart
Tattoo = Mark
Song Sheet = Song in his heart
Pools = Healing
Hills = Exalted/Overcoming obstacles
Instruments = Worship
Singing = Praise

There was just ONE problem?

At the time, he was in a long-term relationship with his girlfriend and was very much in love.  But the woman that I saw in my dream, wasn't his girlfriend?

Tommy James and The Shondells ~ Crimson and Clover

Who is she, I thought?  I didn't understand what God was trying to tell me, so I kept praying and asking questions.  Shortly after, God began giving me more dreams and I saw what was about to transpire.  

One thing was clear, his heart was about to be broken and would be put on display, for the whole world to see.

I didn't know what to do?  I didn't want to see him get hurt, but I also saw the BLESSING that God had waiting for him.  I felt such an aching burden in my heart and I cried for him.

I knew God wanted me to encourage him during this time, but what do you say???

"I know you said you would never get married again, but guess what... God has the perfect woman for you, but it's not your girlfriend."

or how about...

"I know you're in love, but she's gonna break your heart and you're not going to be together.  Oh, but don't worry, you'll meet the woman of your dreams shortly after and you'll be happy."

Ugh!  I didn't want to sound jealous or hateful towards his current girlfriend, but at the same time I felt biased, because I already knew what was coming.  So all I could do was encourage him and pray.

I prayed that God would heal his brokenness and heartache and that He would bring this new woman into his life, quickly.  I prayed that she would be a Proverbs 31 woman, that she would honor him, and be a good stepmom to his children.

Soon after, he met the woman of his dreams (or was that my dreams), and they fell in love.  ;)

Sometimes, I wish we could all SEE what God has planned for us.  It would make it so much easier to let go of our own plans and also help ease the pain we are going through.  But then again, I guess we wouldn't need faith?

It's been 4 years, since I had those dreams.

On March 15, 2014 (two days before St. Patrick's Day), they will be married.

You can call it LUCK... but I know it is FATE.

"Who can find a virtuous wife, for her worth is far above rubies."

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Nikki Sixx.  I'm so happy for both of you.

Heaven is SMILING down upon you and celebrating along with you, today.

May you continually adorn yourselves in Faith, Hope, and Love.

I love you!

Sixx:A.M. ~ Smile

"and all my life
I've been waiting
for someone like you
to make me smile
you make me feel alive"

Highlights of Nikki and Courtney's DREAM wedding.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

My Sweetest Valentine

"And all I can taste is this moment and all I can breathe is your life"

"if heaven really exists
and that's where you're gonna be
then that's where i wanna spend
all of eternity"... x


"And sooner or later it's over, I just don't wanna miss you tonight" 

Goo Goo Dolls ~ Iris

"And I'd give up forever
to touch you
'Cause I know
that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven
that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home
right now"

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

With all the trimmings

"in the middle of the night, your words inspire me"... x

It was about a month ago when I was awoken by my phone ringing at 5:00am.  Startled and half asleep, I answered it.

hey, are you awake?
No, well, yes... is everything alright?
can't sleep, insomnia is killin' me and these panic attacks.
Let me pray for you.
yeah sure, but I need you to come here.
Umm... OK
i just emailed you the itinerary.
Are you sure, you're alright?
yeah, i just... i just need you here, for a few days.

The following day I hopped on a plane.  I stared out the window most of the flight and prayed...

"Lord, please protect him and keep him safe.  Thank you for allowing me to be able to visit him.  Dear Lord, You told me to serve him, so show me how I may serve him best, while I'm there."

I arrived that afternoon.  It was my first time at his new place, since he had moved.  As I walked in, I was in awe of the beautiful view and all of the windows.  I walked around and admired the open space.  It was gorgeous.

I walked down the hall towards the bedrooms and went into his room. Suddenly, I felt the atmosphere shift and it felt a bit stuffy in there.  I glanced around and noticed boxes of things that hadn't been put away yet and there was stuff everywhere.  I then walked out and entered his home studio and I felt the same thing, something was amiss?

That's when I heard him scream my name, so I walked towards the sound of his voice and entered the living room.  I saw him on the floor curled up in the fetal position.  I ran over to him to see if he was alright and he said he'd been trying to sleep for days and his stomach was killing him.  I told him that I would make him some soup (to settle his stomach), and I grabbed all the Alka-Seltzer that was next to him.  "You can't drink this stuff like water, it isn't good for you." I said.

I headed towards the kitchen and started making some soup.  After he ate the soup, we chatted for a bit but I could tell that he didn't feel well.  I told him to lay down on the couch.  I then laid my right hand on his rib cage and I prayed over him.  Soon after he fell asleep.

It was quiet and no one else was there, so I went into the kitchen and grabbed some olive oil.  I walked around his place and anointed all the windows and doors and prayed in every room of his house.

A few hours had passed, when his assistant arrived.  I went to greet her and I made us some coffee.  We talked and laughed as we shared stories about the kids and the animals.  I then offered to help her clean out his bedroom and studio.  I told her that I didn't mind doing it and I knew she had more important things to take care of.  She agreed and said I could go ahead and clean out the two rooms.

I wanted to declutter his bedroom and studio because those are the two most CREATIVE rooms in his house.  His MUSIC and DREAMS are created there.

It took me hours but I washed, organized and straightened up everything. He slept the entire time and I was happy that he got the rest he needed.  It also gave me the opportunity to get everything done.

The next day he said he felt great.  It was pouring rain outside, so we decided to stay in all day.  I made his favorite pasta dish and chocolate chip cookies. We spent the entire day talking, eating, laughing and watching movies.

From my hands, to your feet, to the cage that protects your lungs and heart.

Later that evening we were having a deep conversation about music.  He was complaining about how the music nowadays is so saturated and it lacked passion and soul.  In the middle of our conversation, I heard a loud voice say, "Honor My prophet... wash his feet."

I jumped out of my skin at the sound of His voice.  I was completely shaken and caught off guard.  I had only heard the voice of God (audibly), twice in my ENTIRE life.

I can't explain it but it's like someone is speaking through a megaphone, inside the pit of your stomach.  And the sound is coming out of you, instead of going inside of you.

"are you okay?" he asked.  As I got up (halfway in a daze), and went into the kitchen.  I filled up a bowl with warm water, olive oil and rose petals.  I brought it back into the living room, knelt down on my knees and put a towel over my lap.  I then took off his slippers and placed his feet into the water.

He just looked at me.  He didn't have to say anything... his eyes said EVERYTHING.

I began to wash his feet, as he laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Led Zeppelin ~ Thank You
"Thanks to you it will be done,
for you to me are the only one" ~Led Zeppelin

Soon after his assistant walked in (with her friend), to let him know that she was leaving to go shopping and out to dinner.  He looked back to acknowledge her as she looked over at me, rolled her eyes and shook her head in disgust.  And then she turned around and walked out.

I could instantly tell that he was pissed off.  But before he could say a word, I said, "Let not your heart be troubled, for they do not understand the significance of me washing your feet."  He let out a big sigh and then put his head back again and closed his eyes.  I finished washing and massaging his feet and then I removed them from the water and began to dry them.

"Let's sing some old Sunday school songs," I said.
He began to laugh and said, "what? why?"
It will be fun, besides it's good for our soul.
He jokingly starts singing...
"Jesus loves me this i know, for the bible tells me so."
I'm serious, come on.

He got up and headed over to the piano and sat down.  I followed him, as he began to play.  We started singing, 'Jesus loves me', 'This little light of mine', 'How great thou art' and some old hymns.  It was so beautiful.

He then stopped playing and said, "when i can't sleep in the middle of the night, your words inspire me.  but why haven't you written any blogs, lately?"

"I don't know?  I don't know what to say?  I'm tired of being put down and made fun of, I guess?

why, because they say you're a dreamer?  we're both dreamers, so take it as a compliment.  and don't think that i don't notice the ones that are mean to you, because i do.  but I choose, to pay more attention to the ones that are nice to you."

Yes, I know that you do.  I don't care if they call me a dreamer but why do they have to put me down and say that I'm old or that I have a horse face, etc.?"

"listen to me... you've always preached to me about not listening to my critics and not allowing them to stop me.  you need to do the same.

"You're right, it's just hurtful."

oh baby, don't let them hurt you.  look at me... i've never looked into the eyes of a horse and been able to decipher its age, nor deny its beauty."

"The humble in spirit will retain honor." ~King Solomon

My eyes began to well up with tears as he started playing and singing 'Hallelujah.'  This made me cry even more.  His version of the song is so powerful and chilling.  It is the BEST version I have ever heard and experiencing it IS a whole different story.  I pray that someday, the world will be able to hear and experience his version.

Once he finished 'Hallelujah,' he started playing a familiar song, that he's been working on for quite some time.  But this was the first time, I had ever heard any of the lyrics.  I could feel the Spirit of God in the room, as he sang and it literally brought me to my knees.

When he finished singing, I looked up at him and in a tearful voice I said, "When did you write the lyrics?"  "just now, they just came out so i just went with it... what do you think?" he replied.

"It's absolutely AMAZING!  It IS more than just a song... it's your Psalm."

He smiled and said, "well, perhaps i should write it down then before i forget?"  I stood up and ran to grab a notepad and pen, so he could write it down.

The following day, I started packing.  It always seems to get really awkward between us, when I'm about to leave?  He gets really quiet and stays busy. So, I tried to lighten up the mood a bit and yelled, "A Psalm a day for you and a Proverb a day for me... deal?"  "deal." he yelled back.

I went into the kitchen and hugged and thanked his assistant for her time and for taking care of him.  I then went back and continued packing as I overheard him scream, "whoa, come check out the sky."  I walked out of the bedroom and walked over to the window.

The entire sky looked like a rainbow.  It was breathtaking.  I placed my hand on the glass window and silently whispered, "Thank you, Jesus."

He came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "thank you for coming here."  I turned around and said, "Thank you, for inviting me."  "oh and by the way, thanks for throwing out all of my stuff," he said, jokingly.  "I didn't throw anything out, I was just making room for your blessings." hehe

He laughed and mentioned something about Halloween.  And I said, "Well, this place can have you for Halloween and Thanksgiving, as long as you're HOME for Christmas and New Years."  "you really don't like that i'm here, do you?"

Well, I'll be honest, I hate that you moved here but I respect and honor your decisions.  I understand why you need to be here, for a season.  And I'm not questioning you or God... well maybe I am, just a little?!" hehe

He laughed and squeezed me tight.

"The circumstances may change but the love remains." I said.

"Until the end of time." he replied.

"something magical always takes place when you're around"... x

As I was on the plane heading back home, I began to think about how often times we will feed our mind and body, but we neglect to feed our soul.  I believe, the best way to feed our soul IS through music.  By humbling ourselves before the King and worshipping and praising Him.

Today, many people seem to have a sense of entitlement and pride.  They won't humble themselves towards one another, nor will they humble themselves before God.  We forget to be thankful for what we have and what we've been given.  Whether it be our gifts and talents, our jobs, or our loved ones.

You SEE, often times we tend to become familiar with each other and we start to feel contempt towards one another.  We no longer HONOR the ones that we are close to and we stop treating them as the TREASURE they are.

Think about it for a moment.  How did you treat your significant other when you first started dating them?  How did you treat your boss, when he/she first hired you?

Jesus gave us an example of what true humbleness and love looks like.  He took the lowliest position as a servant (at the last supper), and washed His disciples feet.

Peter was uncomfortable with Jesus washing his feet but Jesus said, "If I do not wash you, then you have no part with Me."  Peter then responded by saying, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and head."

Jesus was teaching us that a master isn't better than a servant and vise versa.  He was also showing all of us, the importance of humility in love.

So, let me ask you...

Whom are you willing to be a part of?

Bon Jovi ~ Hallelujah

"Remember when I moved in you,
and the Holy dove was moving too,
and every breath we drew was,

Thursday, July 18, 2013

silvery shoals of fish

A poem by:  S. Bartek

today we've gone underwater
wearing masks for a masquerade
to look for the colors that sank
in the rays of light - a brainwave
three dimensions of surprise
three breaths
under the water i don't exist
no wind
i go there sometimes when
i don't want to think
wonder when
or will you
tell me
the speech centers remain silent
the speech centers just catch
and the world is underwater
the silvery shoals
the silvery shoals
with my hands i cast an anchor
this will be
my land
here i melt
in all directions
sometimes you are the waves
sometimes you are the shoals
you are
you are the waves
you break against the seabed
the pirates go ashore with their loot
and we go up - upright
every step
is so deep-seated
i haul us ashore
i pick the treasure from the sea bottom
sand, sand and the letter
with yet more words
the silence of the fish
we have no lips to speak with
under the water i don't exist
no wind
a natural muffle
the shades of ships
the colors of masquerade
the reef and the raft
on which we come back ashore
and along with us
- the gravity

"He's a blue shadow of you
a diamond lost at sea
a heart so pure and true
trying to find his way
back to you."
~Lisa Marie Farfalla

Guns N' Roses ~ Estranged

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Letters in the Sand

"I have come that they may have life,
and that they have it more abundantly" ~Jesus

To protect the privacy of others, names have been changed.

I was standing on the beach looking up at the sky, when I saw a horse and chariot going around in a circle.  An Angel was leading the horses and he was holding a balloon in his hand.  He released the balloon and instead of it going up, the balloon started coming down, towards me.  When it got close enough, I grabbed ahold of the string and pulled it down.

I noticed, that it had a shark on it and it said, "Happy Birthday" along with a three digit number.  I turned around and took it over to the beach chair (that Danny was sitting on), and I tied it to the chair.  I then walked over to a table, to cut him a piece of cake.  I walked back over to him and handed him the cake, and said, "Happy Birthday."

I was wearing a necklace, that had a bottle with sand in it.  I noticed there were light blue crystals that were sparkling, inside.  I opened up the bottle and smelled it.  The scent was so fresh and clean.  I took the necklace off and placed it around Danny's neck and said, "Look, God purified the sand... smell the beautiful scent."  He smelled it and then started telling a joke about cocaine.  We both started laughing.  Then he looked up at me, as he drew a line in the sand.

I awoke from this dream at 5:00am and it was pouring rain outside.  I started to pray for Danny.  I knew, that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, so I got up and made some coffee.  I sat down at my kitchen table and started writing the dream down, in my Dream Journal.

This had been the fifth dream, that I had of him, in the past few weeks.  I knew God was trying to get my attention, but I sensed in my Spirit, that I was missing the message?  I began to look at the dream again and try to piece it together.

I knew that the Chariot represented some sort of battle, but there was an Angel steering it, so that was a good thing.  The chariot was going around in a circle, which a circle represents eternity.  A shark represents a hidden danger and a balloon is something that pops.  But, it also said "Happy Birthday" on the balloon along with the three digit number.  I knew the symbolic meaning of the numbers, which was a good sign, also.  A cake always represents a celebration and a birthday represents life.  Me removing the necklace and placing it around his neck, represented me removing something (maybe pride or fear), and speaking into his heart.  The sand represents seed and to purify something means to cleanse it, of all guilt and shame.  Some of the sand was light blue and that color represents the Holy Spirit.  I wasn't really sure about Danny drawing a line in the sand, but it was after he had been telling me, the joke about the cocaine?

Later that afternoon, I got online and looked up Danny's website.  There had been no activity on it for weeks.  I continued to pray for him and I asked God for more revelation.  After I was done praying, I felt like God wanted me to reach out to him and help him?  I said, "What?  I don't know him... how am I supposed to help him?  What if he thinks I'm crazy or thinks I'm a stalker?" 

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy" ~Jesus

That same night, I had another dream about Danny.  Although, this dream was much different?  It was dark, it was eerie, and it was downright scary.

I was in Danny's house and he was sitting on his bed.  I walked up behind him and I noticed, that he had a rope in his hand.  I looked at his bed and saw ropes and belts, that were all in the shape of a noose.  I said,  "What are you doing?"  "I'm going to kill myself," he replied.  "What?", I said... as I began to plead with him and tried to encourage him.  He stood up and started cussing and breaking things, in his room.  I just stood there and silently prayed, until he finally calmed down.  He then walked over to me (lifted his hand to his head, in the shape of a gun), got in my face and said, "Are you gonna stop me?"

I awoke from this dream and I was shaken.  I began to pray for Danny and it was at that point, that I knew that I needed to make a decision.  I could either BELIEVE what God was showing me and try to contact him, or I could allow my foolish pride to take over (and possibly regret it), and do nothing?

I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and help me, write the email to Danny. I kept the email light and positive.  I told him about the "Birthday" dream I had (I didn't mention the other dreams), and I told him, that I was praying for him.  I wasn't sure, if he would ever receive the message, nor did I expect a response.  But I felt like, I had to do something?  I asked God to please let me know, that he was alright.  Even if he just updated his status or posted something on his website.

At that time, I was a personal assistant for a Prophet, and later that afternoon we were in a meeting.  After our meeting, I asked him if he would pray for Danny.  He didn't know who Danny was, nor did I share my dreams with him.

As he was praying, he abruptly stopped and said, "I just saw a vision of the grim reaper standing over him... death is knocking on his door."  He immediately began to pray and bind the devil, in the name of Jesus.  He asked that God would loose him, from whatever bondage was holding him and that he wouldn't believe the lies of the enemy, etc.  I knew at that moment, that God was confirming to me, what I had seen in my dream.

As I returned home, I checked my messages and there wasn't anything from Danny.  I then went to his website and noticed that he had just updated his status, an hour earlier.  I felt a sense of relief come over me and I thanked God, that he was alright.

"For they shall partake of the abundance of the seas
and of the treasure hidden in the sand."

The following morning, I logged onto my computer and there was a message from Danny.  He told me, that he didn't believe in God, but thanked me for the message, nonetheless.  He also had a question for me.  He wanted to know, if I knew what the significance of the three digit number (that was on the balloon in my dream), meant?  This opened up a dialogue between us. ;)

I shared the Biblical significance of the number with him and then he responded, by saying, "Call me," and he left his phone number.  I prayed real quick and then I picked up the phone and called him.  He told me, that this number was his "lucky" number.  That he had seen it for years (including in his dreams), and that he had used the number often, for personal stuff such as passwords, etc.

He also told me, that he had recently went to see a Psychic, to ask what the number represented.  Not only did she link the number to something that happened in his past, but she completely changed the number and told him it was actually a DIFFERENT number, altogether?  I knew this was false, because God revealed the ORIGINAL number to me, in my dream.  We ended up talking for over three hours on the phone.  As, we were hanging up, he said, "This is crazy, I've never opened up to someone this easily... I feel like I've known you forever."

After our conversation on the phone, I thought to myself, that Danny didn't seem depressed at all?  He was very funny and seemed happy?  The next few days, he emailed me periodically and would text me on occasion.  I prayed and asked The Holy Spirit to speak through me, because God knows his heart and knew what he needed to hear.

A few weeks had passed (that we had been talking), when I received a text message from Danny, that read, "I want to meet you... along with the three digit number."  I sent him a text back.  I told him, that I would be in Beverly Hills the following morning, for a life coaching session with the Prophet.  I asked him, if he wanted to meet both of us for lunch?  To my surprise he said, yes.

I went to the store that day and bought him a Bible and an uplifting CD.  Two of the most POWERFUL gifts, you can ever give someone (the word of God and music), to heal their SOUL.

"He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone." ~Jesus

The following day, the three of us met for lunch.  It was a beautiful sunny day out.  Danny shared his experiences, of what is was like to be a famous Rock Star and he told us a lot of funny stories.  We sat outside of this cafe and talked and laughed, for hours.

After we were done eating, the conversation became more serious.  Danny explained, that he was going through a divorce, that his relationship with his kids was strained, that he moved to LA, and his family lived in another state.  He told us that he was clean and sober, but he blamed his past addictions (of drugs and alcohol), on his fame.  He was at a point where he wanted to give up on music, altogether.  He felt the lifestyle had cost him everything.  He was struggling with some other personal issues, too, that left him feeling guilty.  And he was mad at God, because of all of his loss and pain. 

The Prophet spoke LIFE into him and encouraged him. He told him, that God had a PURPOSE for his life and that his musical talent, is a gift from God. He told him, that Jesus came to GIVE to him and not to take from him.  And he told him not to get stuck in his past failures or beat himself up, over the mistakes he's made.  Danny was listening and asking a lot of questions.  It was an AMAZING lunch, and I was so thankful.

As we were getting ready to leave the Prophet said, "You know, Lisa Marie really cares about you.  She loves you... just like Jesus does."

And I will never forget his response... "I know she does... it's all new to me... I've never had anyone care for me, without wanting something from me."  He then put his head down and continued, "To be quite honest... if she hadn't contacted me, when she did... I wouldn't be here, to celebrate my Birthday next week... I was ready to check out."

There was complete silence for a moment and all three of us, had tears in our eyes.  Danny reached over, held my hand and kissed me on the cheek. The Prophet asked him, if he could pray for him and Danny said, yes.

Throughout the following years, Danny and I talked often.  I would text him scriptures and encourage him through the hard times.  He would also call me and ask me to pray for him, before he went on stage, or sometimes just to vent his frustration and anger.  hehe

Today, he is ALIVE and happy.  He is engaged to a beautiful woman and his relationship with his kids, is stronger than ever.  He is also, still using his gift of music, that God has blessed him with.

I am truly honored, that I was given the opportunity, to get to know Danny's BEAUTIFUL heart.  I will always remember, how God used a DREAM to bring our friendship together.

"I am the resurrection and the life." ~Jesus

Now, I'm not saying that all dreams are from God, because obviously they're not. But I have been able to discern which ones are.  One way is through the revelation of His word, the other is through the vibrant colors and oversized scenery, kind of like you've just entered "Alice in Wonderland."  haha  And the third way, is through a series of dreams and confirmations.  "By the mouth of two or three witnesses, the matter shall be established."  The latter, was the case with the dreams, that I had of Danny and the confirmations I received, through him and the Prophet.

You SEE, we never really know where someone is at, in their life.  It may seem like they're happy, but they could possibly be on the brink of giving up.  Satan will always try to keep someone stuck in their past and remind them of their failures.  He wants them to feel trapped, so they can't see any way out.  He knows, if they don't have a VISION, they will perish.

Jesus on the other hand, LOVES us!  He came to give us a FUTURE and a HOPE.  He wants to bring healing and restoration to our lives, and cleanse and purify the sand.  Therefore, He will reveal the TREASURE hidden in the sand (i.e., inside of you).

God will also use us to SPEAK into someone's heart, by planting seeds of faith, hope, and LOVE.  Because sometimes the only Jesus, someone may ever be able to see, IS inside of you.  But we need to be willing, to walk out our faith and use our VOICE (whether it be through words, poetry, or music), and bless others with the GIFT, that He has blessed us with.  As a result, we too, will be able to SEE and smell the fresh scent, and CELEBRATE the beauty of life.

FAITH waits, trusts, acts, believes, and stands.

Always remember this...   

Jesus IS the way, and the truth, and the LIFE.

Skid Row ~ I remember you

"Paint a picture of the days gone by,
When love went blind and you would make me see,
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes,
So that I knew that you were there for me,
Time after time you were there for me"